You work out of a Hotel?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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