I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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