whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You ruined the universe
Randomize
