hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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