it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
