The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize