i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize