Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
