had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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