We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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