Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
