had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
