Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
