Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Randomize
