think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
