my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize