i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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