Can Purell be used as lube?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
