.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
