3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Randomize
