Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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