Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Randomize
