you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
