TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Acid is not a monday night drug
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
