is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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