i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
