We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
