I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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