There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Sext me about skeletons
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize