I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I lost the right to judge tonight
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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