so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
