Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
