There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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