Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
