speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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