Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
