She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
