Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
