I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
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