@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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