YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
