I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
