I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I believe in your delicious
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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