how do flat chested girls get laid?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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