Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
