No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
she peed on how many people?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
