why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
