Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
