White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
