if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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