He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
