oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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