I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize