After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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