just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
nutella sex= disaster
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
